Hon 101

What is a merlin Hon?

“Hon”: A term of endearment (short for “Honey”) commonly used by natives of the state of Maryland (merlin).

Bawlmer: Baltimore . A city in the state of Merlin

Bawlmerese: (also referred to as Baltimorese) a dialect of English spoken in bawlmer, however, locals in other areas such as central merlin also use this form of speech. See the links provided to learn this dialect.

Hampden: A quirky little neighborhood northwest of downtown Bawlmer; a mecca for true merlin Hons. Hons (local, displaced and want-to-be's), flock to this neighborhood every June to revel in their “hon-ness” at Hampden's HonFest. (links to Hampden)

A Bawlmer or Merlin Hon: a person sporting big hair who speaks bawlmerese.

She is very bootifal (beautiful) and her keen fashion sense leans toward animal print fabrics, bright colors, large earrings, polyester house coats, hair curlers (covered with a brightly colored scarf…of course), anything trimmed with marabou, bright lipstick, lots of eye shadow, feather boas and cats eye sunglasses. She is openly friendly and refers to you as “hon”. “How ya doin', Hon?”

Pictures of Hons captured in their native habitat (That's Hampden, Hon!)

How can I become a Hon?

The first thing you need to do is learn a smattering of Bawlmerese . You can use the links above or you can purchase a book about “How to Speak Bawlmerese” from Hometown Girl (link) in Hampden. Regardless of how much you learn, make sure to use “Hon” when addressing anyone you speak with.

Big hair is essential. (link to salons in Hampden and online wig stores). Motto: The higher the hair….the closer to heaven!

Use your new found “hon” fashion sense to hunt out colorful clothing at second hand clothing stores, consignment shops or stores at the local mall. If you live in Baltimore , the following stores are particularly good ones for “hon” shopping:

Galvanize
927 W. 36th Street Baltimore , MD 21211 Tel: 410-889-5237

Fat Elvis
833 W. 36th St. Baltimore , MD 21211 Tel: 410-467-6030

Dreamland
1013 North Charles Street , Baltimore , MD 21201 (410) 727-4575

Dots
Incorporated (410) 391-5082. 1310 Eastern Blvd Essex , MD

You must have a pair of cat's eye sunglasses ! Cats eye sunglasses can be purchased at vintage clothing stores or online. Target also has a large selection of cats eye sunglasses. If you wear glasses and you have decided to commit to true hon-ness you can get a prescription pair and decorate them with rhinestones from commercially available rhinestone body tattoos.

Make yourself bootifal with lots of make up. Bright pink or red lipstick and sparkly eye shadow is a nice touch. Hon, you have cheekbones make sure that we can see them!

Hon accessories (optional)

A can of Aqua Net Hairspray

Feather Boa

Natty Bo (national Bohemian beer originally made in Bawlmer)

Relax and have fun, Hon!